Who knew there was an upside to a global pandemic?
Social distancing closed many office spaces in the past couple years, workers learning they could be more productive from home and employers discovering their workers were more productive at home. The problem was the creativity and innovation that arises when people work together was also getting lost in that mix so people are now being required to return to the office, and are rediscovering how unpleasant it can be having other people around.
HR Departments are having to field more complaints from staff about their co-workers.
Top of the list is the company refrigerator. You don’t really think about how personal the fridge in your kitchen is and what a reflection it is of your taste until you have to share one with strangers again. No one needs to know about the mold growing in the plastic container on your lower shelf but that becomes everyone’s concern when we have to use common appliances in office spaces. Did we need to have a Manager of the Microwave before the pandemic because apparently we need one now. Who left the Stouffer's Lasagna in the microwave for three hours and who raised you? I’m calling HR.
Attire is number two on the annoyance list. Something perhaps lost in social professional isolation – men, you have to wear pants. Not just sweatpants, and not the same ones every day. That was fine when you were working from home but you’re back on the team and we expect you to wear socks and a nice pair of slacks. Jeans are fine, but work out your rotation. Women, didn’t we love only having to wear makeup on Zoom meeting call days, and don’t you hate not realizing your mascara looks like a raccoon until you step into the Ladies Room when there’s a line and you see your reflection in the mirror? Oops. I didn't have zoom on my phone calendar and forgot I had to be socially presentable today. It kinda sucks when everyone sees you every day and now we’re all having to relearn the dress code. You mean leggings are not a lifestyle choice anymore?
Number three is the noise. Just – NOISE! Sure, the kids could be banging pots and pans in the kitchen and the dog was barking at the mailman but those are normal noises. Someone in the cubicle clipping their toenails is not a normal noise and I’m calling HR. No, I do not find your ringtone amusing, only distracting and I’m calling HR. We had forgotten the resonance eating a bag of potato chips makes in a cubicle farm until the guy next to you decides he can’t eat just one. Don’t sneeze, don’t belch, don’t fart, just BE QUIET or I’m calling HR.
Doesn’t it make you wonder who HR is calling about their annoying coworkers?
photo: Getty Images