You might leave your partner if you caught them in adultery...but what would you do if you found out they were two-timing you with an undercover checking account? Hiding a credit card or checking account (one with hidden money that is not contributing to the house payment of future college fund) from your spouse is the most common of offenses in American couples who were recently surveyed by Bankrate. They said the betrayal was as painful as adultery. Psychologist Dr. John Huber says he sees couples struggling with it. "The biggest problem there is TRUST. Whether it's infidelity with finances or infidelity with another human being, once you have violated that trust - it's really hard to get it back."
Dr. Huber says he usually recommends these couples have three checking accounts - one for joint bill paying and a private one for each partner. "They [the individual spouse accounts] are private --- but they don't care if the other person sees it, because they have negotiated with their partner for what money goes where. It tends to balance out the relationship."
The survey showed the older the couple and the longer the relationship, the level of occurance is the same, but a lower level of hurt is experienced.