Some people just have an easy gift for gab and can talk to anyone. But doing it well and effectively can be an art form.
In a book titled “Click; The Magic of Instant Connections” researchers Ori and Rom Brafman reveal the critical role revealing your emotional vulnerability can play in developing a connection that can be stronger than a lifelong friendship.
“Allowing yourself to be vulnerable helps the other person to trust you, precisely becauseyou are putting yourself at emotional, psychological, or physical risk. Other people tend to react by being more open and vulnerable themselves. The fact that both of you are letting down your guard helps to lay the groundwork for a faster, closer personal connection. When you both make yourselves vulnerable from the outset and are candid in revealing who you are and how you think and feel, you create an environment that fosters the kind of openness that can lead to an instant connection — a click.”
One of the most popular Ted-Talks features University of Houston research professor Dr. Brene Brown, who talks about the role vulnerability makes in establishing a fast relationship, and the importance of projecting your authentic self.
“They had connection, and this is the hard part, as a result of authenticity,” she says in one of the most-viewed Ted Talks. “They were willing to let go of who they thought they should be in order to be who they were. You have to be able to do that for connection.”
It’s about establishing your trustworthiness, and demonstrating your own vulnerability is a way to encourage a stranger to trust you enough to open up and engage with you.